#254 The Only Way To Learn – Transcription of the podcast episode

Transcription of the podcast episode #254 The Only Way To Learn

Please be kind as this is taken directly from the audio, bad grammar included!

Here’s your heads up to this longer podcast. It’s about finding the only way to learn. Yep. The only way. There is no other way to learn. And when you learn this way, the only way to learn, then you’ll become a success. you’ll succeed. And your whole life will change. Because this is the only way to learn. And if it’s important to you to find this one and only way to learn, I think I’ve pushed that enough. Have a listen after this.

Hopefully, a longer podcast, not too long. But I hope to give you something, something that you can really take away and use if nothing else to get you to really think a little bit deeper about something that will make you change your mind into doing something, even more, deeper than that. Now, that was pretty specific, wasn’t it? Not? You see, there’s one secret of learning to learn something. One secret of learning to learn anything, would that be important to you to know how to learn? Because that’s why you’re here. That’s what’s going to change the way you feel. Because when you, I guess when you feel more in control of what you know, and you can do what you know that mastery bit that self-confidence self-esteem,

will, will be there for you

and allow you to grow. And that’s where we’re gonna go with this episode today. You see, Has this ever happened to you? Yeah, I know this has happened to me loads and loads and loads of times. Gone away to do something, and it’s new-ish. You’ve read about it. You’ve read about the ‘how’ you’ve got all the instructions, like the instruction manual, or whoever reads those really? But we’ve got it there. We’ve flicked through it, yeah I know this.

I know this. In fact, I’ve even searched on YouTube. I’ve watched a video. In fact, I’ve even asked people,

I’ve asked someone who does this, and they’ve, they’ve told me how to do this. So I know, I know what to do. And I know how to do it. And if you know what to do, and you know how to do it, then you’ve learned how you haven’t learned how to do it, and you’ve learned what to do. Because you read everything. You’ve seen everything. And people have told you about it? Well, there’s a big answer to that. No, you haven’t learned anything Cloughie, what are you saying? I’ve just told you, or I told you through that example, read about it. Watched it on YouTube, ask people, you have got it all here. But the thing is, you’ve learned nothing. Because following that example, you then go and do it. And you start to go and do it at What!!!!!!!!!!. It goes wrong. There’s a bit missing or bits missing, or there’s something that I just don’t get. It wasn’t like that when they told me and ah and the thing is, when you get to that point that’s when you That’s something that’s the learning when it goes wrong. I always used to say, I’m going to go back into my NLP training says, as well I’ll do that first I think I’ll tell you the story. And I’ve told it before and I’m going to tell it again because it’s all about mastery. I went on my first NLP practitioner training. And being that little introvert that I was, I was used to I was having trouble or had trouble when I was in my hypnosis training, because there were another 15 people there and that was like, nearly 14 people, too many, they were nice people. But you know, it was just overwhelming. But I still learned. And I became a master hypnotist because I could do hypnosis. And I knew a little bit about hypnotherapy because that was part of the training as well. And I was seeing people, and I was reading just a few books, and putting what I read into practice, I was doing it. But I went along to this NLP practitioner training my very first one. I went there the first day, and there’s over 30 people in the class alone, God, oh, my God, everyone’s milling around before we go, Oh, this is, you know, they’re having coffee in that. And I’m embarrassed to even go and get a cup of coffee. Because someone might say something to me. I was really insecure those days. Yeah, I was doing something which was completely out of my comfort zone,

which again, is another bit of learning because of what it allowed me to do, but that’s another story. But there was I went there and talk about imposter syndrome!

I just felt I should not be here. Who am I? Who am I to be an NLP practitioner. I’ve

heard so much about NLP learning NLP. And then there were these people, people there. I was just like, just listening in the side because I was hiding a little bit. And I was listening to little conversations going on. And these people seem to know everything. And there was like a, not a bookstore, but a table with books you could buy. And they were going yeah, I’ve read that one. I’ve read this one. I’ve done that one. Oh, I know the and, and the words that were using this NLP jargon was just coming out of their mouths as if it was a foreign language to me. And so of course, the imposter syndrome got even worse, my introvertedness got even turned up, intensified. And I shrank to the corner.

And then it came to walk in the walk.

You see, they had read all the books I’ve dreamed of, have dreamed of reading. wanted to read I just hadn’t got there. Because I’ve been just had these two or three books I’d really homed in on. But that was talking the talk. And when it came to walking the walk, they couldn’t do it. They just couldn’t do it when I actually got started to talk to them and say, you know, are you working with people? Because you seem to know so much all No, no, no, no. I wouldn’t work with anybody. I’m not I’m not here to work with people. I’m thinking. I don’t know why you’re here. Really? Yes, it’s great to learn. But if you’re not going to use the stuff, what you learn, why bother to learn? Unless it’s ego-driven? Which is okay, I guess, if that’s what if that’s your intention to learn and not use it is fine but is not for me on that personal development. And certainly, this adventure that we’re on learning this stuff to use this stuff to create that world.

And I got it, then I didn’t know I got it. But I was following this definition, what you have here of mastery,

doing what I knew, and knowing what I was doing, what I’d learned. And the best thing for that is, I used to love when we did our trainings, we would have like we’re talking about the particular context of NLP, then there’ll be a demo, a demonstration, of that particular process. And then we go away in pairs to actually do the process. And I loved it when I cocked it up. I really did, where other people will get really cross And they were so down on themselves. I was in my element when I was fucking it right up, basically. Why? Because I was learning. I was learning what I didn’t know. And when I learned what I didn’t know in that environment, when I got to work with people in bigger issues, really extending myself, walking the walk. I was doing it and I knew I was confident that if something came up. I think I could handle that. I wasn’t overconfident, well a little bit. But I was really into it, I was still introverted but I was really confident, my self-esteem was there.

So what is this secret? Yeah, you must, you must be getting it now, the secret that’s hiding in plain sight because they’re all bloody hiding in plain sight aren’t they, all the things that we ever learned here in personal development unplugged. But, everything we seem to learn here is hiding in bloody plain sight, which is not seeing.

And this is what I wanted to go through even a little bit deeper now. Because the deeper we go into this learning, by learning what you don’t know, we really push imposter syndrome. But it will push it in a way that it blows it out of the water. Because it’ll be there. But you’ll get to notice it’s there. I can remember a story I can’t remember if I’ve told this. I’ve spoken so many times on this podcast,

that in another life, I used to be part of a local company.

And I’d been trained in a different local company all in this, this one industry. And I got the chance to work with a national company. And in the ratings, they were number four in the UK. And I thought to myself, imposter syndrome. I didn’t know about imposter syndrome in those days, but I was suffering from it. Because I thought to myself who the bloody hell am I? I this little town the company was was big in that town. But compared to this, this was, wow, minuscule Who am I to go and bat alongside these people. And I got there. And within about 15 minutes that imposter syndrome disappeared. Because I found out if you walk the walk and talk the talk and do what you know and know what you do all the stuff I talked about, but I didn’t know about it then I know I was doing it then, I was good enough. And in fact, my good enough was probably quite a lot better than most. But when I realized that my confidence in myself suddenly grew. So is that little burst of imposter syndrome got me to look back at what I didn’t know or what I did know. And it’s quite good because then it pushed my vulnerability and gave my ego a big check. Because I had to put it in check a little bit because I suddenly thought, Oh, I’m really good. But then pushing that aside, I thought well, I’ve been very vulnerable here.

So what we’re going to learn is when we don’t know what we know, we are going to be vulnerable.

We’re going to suffer that little bit of imposter syndrome, we are going to give our ego a battering side the ear, which is a good thing,

I’m not into ego.

But it also pushes our personal development our self-growth, your self-growth, my self-growth. Because this is all about the foundation of your success. And it’s so simple. And it’s a secret. Yeah, well sort of secret. It’s a secret that you’ll only learn. When you do what you think you know, or you think you’ve

learned and found out. You didn’t, you didn’t know you couldn’t do it.

And that’s when you really learn. And that’s when you really learn if you have the intention to put yourself on that line to be vulnerable when you put yourself in, so it’s not overconfidence. But you’re willing, you’re willing to expose yourself to doing this stuff because you never find out until you do it what you think you know, what you think you’ve learned. And when you find out that you don’t, you will suddenly learn it, you’ll learn a bit that you don’t know, which makes up everything. And that’s when you really learn because you learn everything that you think you know, but haven’t done, proved yourself, it was just a delusion. It’s the talk, the talk, and not the walking of the walk. But that’s when you start to really learn. Because it does two things. If you do it with the right intention, you come back to mastery, showing up, showing up the real you, and doing what you know. And knowing what you do. Because that’s the foundation that you build upon. Because you use that to build upon to the next level. And then you wash and repeat. build on that to the next level. So your foundation is so fucking strong that you can. Where your self-esteem and your confidence in your competence is rock solid. And you’re prepared to do that little bit extra that maybe that you don’t know, that you don’t know, to find out whether you know it, but now you’ve always got a bit of a backup plan knowing that you’re gonna learn from it. And that’s when we get to be even better, the ultimate mastery because we become an expert at that. But an expert only knows that they don’t know everything, that’s a real expert because there’s always more. But we talked about in one of the last podcast episodes, there is always more to learn. And that’s where it should, not should, it brings in that curiosity, that excitement,

realizing that isn’t anything that you can’t learn and do when you do it and learn from it.

Because now you’ve got the right intention. Now you’ve got an unconscious mind willing to protect you, using all the experiences that you’ve got. So he’s, she’s not gonna allow you to go too far out of your comfort zone, because we’ve seen people go crash and burn and then disappear forever, but far enough. Because if you stay in your comfort zone, is this familiar zone, I hate the term comfort zone it’s just a familiar zone, you’re familiar with this and you’ve got to get just through that imaginary barrier. To find out you actually already know a little bit more than you thought you did. And from that, you get that intuition. A bit of knowledge or the right teacher comes along, the right book comes in, I call those teachers, the right video comes along, that a teacher, the right mentor comes along the right podcast, hello, comes along. Bigging me up a little bit there wasn’t it. But it’s all about that. I have to think back, I’ll just come to my mind. When I first started this podcast.

I had some really bad equipment, I hadn’t got a clue how to do it,

I had no idea, my son had been doing it for some time and he gave me the foundation of what I needed to have. But at the end of the day, it was up to me to be able to do it. All I knew is I had a message to share. But also know those early days that I couldn’t communicate that message.

Hopefully, I’m getting better. Hopefully, I’m getting better. But I want to get even better than that. Because each time I do this, I find out what I missed out maybe. Because that’s when I need your feedback. So don’t get lost in my ego. The things that you can show me where, where to improve. I’ll find the how you show me the where. Because I had a coach, a vocal coach. And it was so good. It was my type of vocal coach because they didn’t talk about pronouncing your words in such a way. But they got deep inside me into my intention, and then taking my intention and then using the words, sharing the story.

So now you have to plan it. Because now you know, there’s always something to learn, there’s always something you can learn, all you have to do is do the things that you do learn to make sure that you do know them. And if you don’t, you can really hone those skills. When you can think about, let’s plan your success, success in, say your career, your relationships, your health, plan their success through your dreams, maybe your side hustle, you fill in the blank, because all you have to do then is create a plan, a well-formed outcome. Now two things about a well-formed outcome is if you get that well-formed outcome, anxiety disappears. Inner confidence becomes something that you can have as a foundation because you’re confident in your competence. There’s even a well-formed outcome process In the hypnosis tracks I have paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast, sign up to those. If you’re already there, you’ve got the link, your personal link, go there and look at a well formed outcome. But if you want you can wait till that episode comes along. Because I just want you to think about what we’re doing.

Now. Think about your learning. What do you really know? And test yourself by saying, Okay, if I know that have I done it yet? or do I just think I know it? So even on that part, with the right intention, commit to testing what you know, because with the right intention, you’re looking forward to things not quite happening the way you want because I always remember, going back to those NLP trainings and cocking up the practicing. I knew the more I did ii there, I was in a safe environment to learn. So when it counted, I had real learnings as long as I didn’t just poo-poo it and just let it go. Now I learned I began to write about it. Again journaling what I wanted To learn how much I’ve learned and what it’s going to do, and then put myself to it.

I know that when I was working with clients at one time, I knew beforehand what I was going to do, what process I was going to use, What a dumb way to work that is, and people still do that, by the way, but it’s such a dumb way to work. Because I’m trying to interpret what that person needs through a bit of an email. They’ve got a phobia, No, they haven’t got a phobia it’s something completely different. So many times I’ve worked with somebody, and what I thought was the issue, when we got there, had nothing to do with it at all. So we then found the right process but before, though, I would have a process in mind, I knew the stages I was going to do, despite of my client. But you have to learn that way. You have to learn that way.

And suddenly, you get that aha moment that says, hang on, Paul, let’s just pull your neck in and just take notice of what you’re learning just now. How can you make it better? And we’re back to asking ourselves better questions, learning what else you need, as you do it. To set your intention, commit, schedule, and become the master of you and your dreams. Because that’s what we’re here for. It’s not just to have dreams that become wishes that fade away but actually create dreams. Remember, dream, create Excel, they were the words I put on my first website, dream, create Excel. Awesome words. There’s no wishing there that fades away. So as you think about this, I’d

love you to think about that a little bit deeper. I haven’t I haven’t gone through a process of any of this because I wanted you and a bit for me, I guess, to realize there’s always more to learn. And also realize, well, I know you think you learned that Cloughie. You’ve read about it. But do you really know? Have you put it into practice? Have you demonstrated to yourself, not demonstrate to others, demonstrate to yourself that you can do it, and then ask yourself, How can I make it better. That’s when the dreams really, really shoot out of you. And they become reality, and they become better than you thought. And you’ve got some resources already before I do any processes. And I will work on this, I’ll think about this and give you some processes. But remember, you’ve always got the hypnosis tracks from past episodes. So if you’ve got an area that, once you’ve sat down or thought about this and say, Well, maybe I need just need a bit more confidence to go back and test it. Well, we’ve got things like the past episodes, your own personal resources, you’ve also got Supreme Inner Confidence, the program I’ve done for you to help propel it, you’ve got these things that will do it. So it’s not a case of doing it and then finding out oh I need more confidence.

No, let’s get confident about what we don’t know. Because when you know, you don’t know it, there’s no imposter syndrome. Because I know this I want to learn I’m gonna use these people to learn from what a wonderful way to do it because then they become the right teachers. And if they know it, you find people will share things because that’s what we do isn’t it? Always speak here about sharing what we know, sharing what we listen to, not only doing what we learn, and listening and learning and doing that, but sharing it, sharing what we’ve learned. Because when you share things, and you do it verbally, you put it in your own words, again, you recognize, I can’t explain it anymore. That means I don’t know that bit. I don’t know well enough to explain it. Therefore, I’m gonna go back, become the master of it. Because I’ll know what I know. And I know what I don’t know.

And this seems quite a deep subject. But it’s such a simple subject. And that’s what we’re here for, isn’t it? In simplicity. There’s genius. Good old Albert Einstein. Let’s break things down. From the complicated to the simple, not too simple, but to the simple processes. And then walk the walk with talking the talk at the same time. That’s when you find your career, your relationships, your side hustles your dreams, you become who you really can be, and then realize there’s more to learn, which is exciting isn’t it? So much to experience.

So this now doesn’t become a journey. So many people say well, I’m on this journey. It’s an adventure because adventures are always exciting and they always Have a great ending, always because we always learn from, from everything that we do. There you go.

So having said that, why don’t share this, maybe try to explain it to somebody, and then share the episode, and then share the whole podcast, which will, as I said before, be changing slowly gonna tweak it a little bit. haven’t quite got it firmly in my mind yet, but I’ve been talking to my youngest son who’s been giving me a few tips. And there are things, I’m going to change a little bit because I want to make this podcast even more relevant to you. Even more relevant, so you become like this master of you. And so we can, oh, we can look at the things that we need, what we need to learn what we need to let go of, and not just look at them, but how to, let’s get some ‘how to’s’, some real good processes in,


in front of us, you know, you can do it, you can follow it with me, you can do it by yourself after that, and then notice how well it works. So that’s gonna be something I’ll be filling you in later, sometime in the future, not too long. of little tweaks, I’m gonna try to, not try, but to make little tweaks I’m definitely going to make, try to make it even more interesting. You might even say, well, it’s not interesting yet Paul :O), but it is I’m sure it is. Hopefully, it is.

Give me that feedback. If it’s not interesting, and you’re not getting golden nuggets, you know, please let me know, email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. I’d love your feedback. If it’s really good feedback, can you put it on a review that takes 90 seconds. When if you listen, to this on an app, there’s always a place you can put a review. Love that for me. And if you do a review, please do a screenshot of it. screenshot it, email it to me at feedback at personal development unplugged com. if I didn’t say that my mind went blank but email me the screenshot and you might just get something in return. Anyway, have more fun than you can stand and maybe just sit down a little bit like I do, but don’t have to do what I do. But sometimes I just sit down with an open book and I write, you know, what do I know what Don’t I know, I’ve been going through a lot of things like that lately. And it’s making a difference. So it’s just, you know when you start devoting time to yourself, it becomes unselfish. We talked about that before being becoming the most unselfish, selfless person. Because you want to make yourself better, a better person, for you, people around you, and little planet Earth. So maybe just commit to making a little bit of time and just think about what we talked about here and see what you come up with. And when you do. I’d love to know. You know, if you if you’re happy to share the thoughts that you have, again, that email feedback at personal development unplugged.com, But also if you share it and you go you know what, but I don’t know-how. And let me know that because I’ll find a process for us. I will because I’ll probably want it as well. I know well. And certainly the other person now you This doesn’t to me. But all three of us will get something out of this. Okay. Anyway, until the next time, my friend. Just enjoy. And I say enjoy every heartbeat. See you next time. Bye-bye.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Making Your Future Happen without Anxiety

Making Your Future Happen without Anxiety

Planning your future can be anxious

Knowing that you’re not planning your future is both overwhelming and anxiety-ridden

If you are worried about any of this get in touch and see how I can help. Call on 01202 428 309 via the contact page tab above

You may be aware I host the podcast Anxiety to Confidence – Personal Development Unplugged podcast and I thought this might be interesting and if you want maybe subscribe on ost podcast platforms

As a pre-runner to a longer podcast about making your future how you want it without anxiety and with confidence here’s the narration copy of the audio version of  FMQ 339 Living For Tomorrow – Making Tomorrow

If you love goof grammar and punctuation please be kind and it’s a direct narration:

Unknown Speaker 0:06
So this is another quick five-minute quickie that lasts longer than five minutes. And it is going to head towards a longer podcast, which is all about making sure they, your wishes become dreams and your dreams become reality. And they’re never put off. And they don’t just fade away. If that’s of interest to you have a listen after this. But you have to be honest with yourself when you do because I’m gonna ask you to do something. You have to be honest with yourself. And who else should you be honest with, if you can’t be honest with yourself?

Unknown Speaker 1:06
Hey, my friend, a five-minute quickie. I think it’s a five-minute quickie because what I want to do is spend more time on this. But I wanted to just think out loud to get you curious. Maybe you can give me some feedback on the type of things that we can add.

Unknown Speaker 1:22
So what am I talking about?

Unknown Speaker 1:24
As I know that you’re saying Cloughie get to the point?

Unknown Speaker 1:28
Well, it’s all about living for tomorrow. Because isn’t that the thing to do? live for tomorrow? Making sure that tomorrow is going to be awesome. And well, if you did that, would you make tomorrow Great?

Unknown Speaker 1:48
Now I know you’ve got this thing. There is a saying that tomorrow never comes? Well, it’s so does come, because if you’re on a Monday like I am now I’m meeting somebody tomorrow on Tuesday when I wake up tomorrow morning is Tuesday, tomorrow’s come today. I know it’s today. But it was tomorrow, yesterday. And yesterday’s gone. So today is tomorrow. And I created tomorrow by making that appointment. Sort of isn’t it?

Unknown Speaker 2:21
But tomorrow never comes. And we can make tomorrow great. But sometimes there’s that thing. If you don’t put Tuesday as being tomorrow, let’s use a date now and a calendar. If time is anything other than a construct, then we put it in a diary. So we’re just heading towards a particular date, not necessarily tomorrow. But always I say that again, if all we’re thinking of is well, not necessarily tomorrow, but in the future, when things happen. If this was to happen, or when I’ve got this in my pocket, or if I’ve got a bit more learning, I understand this, or I’ve done that, then I will do this.

Unknown Speaker 3:03
Some people are even dependent on the bloody weather, how I feel when I’m feeling more confident in this. That’s the BS of living for tomorrow because then time slides. I’m sure you know that when you go, I’m going to set a goal. And I’m not quite sure when I want it. But I want it in the future. And guess what? A year later it’s still out there somewhere because time slides into the future. If there is a future, I think there’s a future.

Unknown Speaker 3:38
So to me, you can create a really good tomorrow. A really good future that becomes a now if you take action right now and I know that’s bloody obvious really isn’t it? Taking action right now.  And a lot of people say and I do, I do live in the moment.

And I’ve talked about this just recently, living in the now. And if I haven’t, I will be because I’ve got notes on it. My mind’s got a little bit weird. Did I do it yesterday or have I set it for some time in the future? You see trying to make the future better? for you. For me? It all gets weird.

Unknown Speaker 4:21
But I just wanted you to Muse before I go into a longer podcast on this. Do you put things off for tomorrow the next day? sometime in the future? And you might say oh, absolutely I never do that Paul. Never, never, never, never never. And then you start talking about stuff that put off because we don’t admit it to ourselves. Because you can think right at this moment, I’m not putting anything off. Well just think back, backward a little bit into the days of the now that has gone into the past of things that you were going To do and you still haven’t done them? What would happen if you just made a little list of those? Yeah, it could pee you off a little bit. Make you feel down. I know when I did this, I was looking at it and saying these have been on the list forever. And I still haven’t got around to doing them.

Unknown Speaker 5:18
But there’s a reason for that. And I worked out mine but not here in this one. This is because this is only a five-minute quickie This is to get your, your juices flowing as it were. Because I want you to think about the things that you have put off. You’ve put off for the future when the time is right.

Unknown Speaker 5:41
Because I can guarantee you, very few Cloughie guarantees. But yeah, I know that you don’t fill up your whole day. If you do, you are the exception to the rule. And if I had a hat, I take it off. But I know I don’t do that, I know so many other people who say they do, do not live and fill their day up completely with everything. So we’ve all got a bit of time, a little bit of time spare and we got a little bit of time, we could shuffle in the day right now.

Unknown Speaker 6:07
So that’s what we’re going to be working on working on. I don’t want you to think about that now. But I want you to think about what are the things that you have still got in your mind to do? Maybe you’ve written them down. Or maybe they’re just like little wishes floating around. And one thing about wishes is if we don’t do anything with them, if we don’t write them down for a start, they fade away into the ether, into the multiverse, and some other person picks them up and gets the idea of it and does it. We’ve all been there.

Unknown Speaker 6:43
So just for a little while, I don’t know when the actual longer podcast, the podcast will be around this. But just for a little while get a little notebook or a little piece of paper and a pen, pencil, a fountain pen, I love my fountain pen, get your little notebook. And just write down the things that you have been putting off for tomorrow. Not necessarily deliberately so, because there’s Yeah, there are the ones I’m putting off. Because I’m waiting for this to happen. I want to list of those. And a list of the things that you’ve actually have put off already, not consciously or unconsciously, or whatever. But they’re just there.

Unknown Speaker 7:20
Let’s just take a little itinerary of those things. And then we can work from there. So this is a five-minute quickie, which is taken, I don’t know about six or seven minutes. But I just want you to think of things so we can dive in deeper. Now if there’s anything in this, that as you make those notes and you go, Paul, I want you to make sure that you include this in the longer podcast because this is something that’s going to be important to me. That I do create in the future. So when it slides into the now, boom, I’ve done all the work to create that reality, because I couldn’t create it right now. But I’ve done everything to create it. And if there’s something that you really need for that, let me know feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Unknown Speaker 8:03
That’s the email. I’ll give you a personal reply. Might even send you a little gift. Who knows.

Unknown Speaker 8:08
But you don’t need a gift for that. But maybe, we’ll see. And I will be able to fill that podcast up with loads of little goodies, loads of little gems, little golden nuggets strewn everywhere, everywhere just for you.

Unknown Speaker 8:26
And they’ll create little golden nuggets for everyone else. I know that you know that too. So keep your ears open, your heart open, and just be around.

Unknown Speaker 8:41
Okay, so that’s what we’re really talking about is doing a podcast in the future, isn’t it? What? Yeah, but, and there is a but. I don’t like bots, but there is a but. This one is going to happen because I’m going to create it because I need things to do I have steps to do and then we’ll do it. And then we’re gonna have fun making our reality a reality. I think I know.

Unknown Speaker 9:09
Be there. Bye bye.

Unknown Speaker 9:15
So 90 seconds. Now we all know stress is not good for us. Well, too much stress is really bad. And you know it just builds up and builds up. What would it be like? If you could really deeply relax, really relax. Not just relax your muscles but your mind. Everything about you just deeply relaxes through hypnosis. You see what I’ve got is Well, I’ll tell you what I haven’t got. I haven’t got a guided meditation that goes down to the riverbank and makes you feel relaxed for the moment. But what I have got two tracks, one a longer track which guides your unconscious mind into deep relaxation to relax and be comfortable in the mind and the body is every muscle, every fiber of you, just deeply relaxing. So you can learn at the unconscious level, how to relax.

Unknown Speaker 10:06
And then a slightly shorter length hypnosis track to allow you to go into deep relaxation instantly. And be there for just say five minutes. So in between meetings or whenever you just want to relax so quickly, so easily, you can just go there for five minutes. And then in between, you can use a longer track to have that longer experience. Each time building up this skill of deep relaxation.

Unknown Speaker 10:32
How do you get it? Well, basically, you just go to paulcloughonline.com, forward slash, relax, there you go. Two programs, go and have a look. I give you a little video about it as well. Have a little listen. What would happen if it didn’t work, well it didn’t work there’s a money-back guarantee. So you have got nothing to lose. But what would happen and you got supersonically good at relaxing. Wouldn’t it be awesome? Teach your body how to just relax and your mind to just relax. Just enjoy. Go to paulcloughonline.com forward slash relax and check it out.

Unknown Speaker 11:24
You are now leaving the unplugged. Paul club it’s time to fly new. Be brave my friend. Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Post Lock Down anxiety

The podcast episode narration,

Please be gentle as this is straight from the audio of episode #242 Post LockDown Anxiety and if bad grammar is something that gets you going well, this will get you going (maybe see a therapist about that?)


Hey, welcome. Well, welcome back, or welcome to the PDU as a poet, poetry, personal development unplugged, the podcast that tries to make things as simple as possible to get the most return on your investment, or break down that complicated stuff. And I wanted to have a little talk about post lockdown anxiety because I’m seeing a lot of it now through the therapy side of my, my little other life, my alter life. And I wanted to just have a chat.

So this might be a five-minute quickie, I think so a little bit longer. But it’s not going to be the longest of long podcasts. But I think it’s something that you might just want to consider, see if any of this resonates with you. And if it does, then there’ll be some solutions within this podcast. So post lockdown anxiety, now not talking about the things that run through your mind, all those things, because you know what they are. But the whole problem is you think you do, you know you think you know what the voices the thoughts are, say voices, you might get voices, the voice, your voice, maybe the questioning, the things that you make up in your mind, or, in some ways been created by this locked down COVID 19 lockdown, or working from home, which is the same thing to me.

But we’re coming out of it. And it’s causing, or what I can see is causing a lot of anxiety in different ways. So whilst I say you already know about it, but I think you know what, what the elements are, sometimes we need to understand what is happening because they’re happening for a reason. You see, when you can understand, I believe that’s when you can use processes and methods to help. Because if you just fight against things, you push against things, your unconscious mind can push back a lot harder, you know, consciously. You don’t wake up in the morning and have these, this anxiety, the various things that go with a fear of missing out, imposter syndrome, all that stuff, you don’t consciously think, do you know what today I think I’m gonna feel like a real imposter. You don’t do it do you? but it happens all the same.

You might even wake up in the morning and go, you know what this, this day, today is going to be completely different. I am going to nail it. And then something happens and boom. Good old best friend of yours says I’ll find a way to protect you. So I’ll give you a few worries. But those worries are, as I just said, there to protect you. Which seems really, really quite weird because well, that’s where the conflict comes from. Because if your best friend inside is trying to protect you and keep you safe, yet, the one thing you don’t feel is safe, you feel frightened or anxious, then we know there’s a conflict. But we do want to feel safe, we do want to feel protected. Consciously, if you knew you could do anything and always be safe protected, you would have well, any unconfidence you had would disappear, wouldn’t it. You would be confident in your competence, you’d be looking forward to things, the pictures you make in your mind would be all positive of seeing wonderful results. Now, understanding what it is or the conflict is easier said than done. But  I will go through that with you.

But the thing is, I’m not gonna give you any mind hacks, because you know what I think about hacks, you know, hacking away, and we hate that. But when you start thinking, I mean, here’s a typical mind hack. I’m really nervous. I keep going through how bad it’s going to be, and how bad it’ll end up. And it’s going to be so bad. And so the mind hack is “right stop!” And we do a lot of stopping and pausing here. But stop, take four deep breaths. In fact, if you want to do some square breathing for in for four, hold for four then out, and hold for four, It’ll bring your heart rate down. And it might allow you to think a little clearer for a little while because it’s a pattern interrupt. That’s all it is. Unless you deal with that conflict.

Generally, I can only say generally, sometimes that pattern interrupt will give you sufficient time to think of an answer or do something differently. But generally, we go back to the same thing because that’s what human beings do, don’t we? We think we’re going to get a different result. Because when we go back to do the same things, but pretty soon, generally it comes back. So what are you going to do? Well, I think we need to just understand that this is our protection measure, but it’s going a little bit haywire. your unconscious mind is now seeing Danger, it’s seeing it everywhere. And it’s taking it well out of proportion into overwhelm. And this is all it is, we’re getting overwhelmed. When we get overwhelmed, we get anxious, we get fearful, that’s when we get that fear of missing out FOMO, that’s when we get imposter syndrome. That’s when we get anxiety from, as well, we don’t want to go out, we don’t do anything, we get unconfident, you name it, they’re all there. But protection is good. The thing is, overwhelm with all those other effects of overwhelm, are not good. So all we just need to do is understand, first of all, hey, this is just a behavior, or behavior that my unconscious mind has chosen, you chose it, chosen to help. And the thing is, all we need to do now is change the behavior. Simple, one of the simple things I love to do is to ask some questions, but I’ll do that in a minute. But if there’s overwhelm, is creating, well, creating such anxiety that you’re unable to perform properly, or it’s giving you, you know, too much, and you’re thinking about taking pills and things like that. I’m not a doctor. I’m a therapist, but not your therapist.

But here’s what I would suggest. The best way, if the overwhelm is too much, maybe you’ve turned to a little bit more alcohol because I’m seeing that a lot. People are changing to turning to alcohol, maybe they’re turning to a bit more smoking, and a bit more food, all these things that give instant gratification as it were, but do not resolve the problem. Because haven’t gone to the cause.

And to do that, I always say one to one was one to a one to one help see a therapist. One thing about that is, it’s quick.

It’s so quick, when you get to be with a good therapist, I always promote someone who does something like what I do NLP hypnosis, and timeline therapy, and a few more twists on those. But those are the core. Because I know people who, when we have those types of skills, we just seem to get the results a lot quicker, a lot easier. And they’re a lot gentler. It’s a comfortable way to work with somebody not, we don’t do things to you, we work with you to find out what’s happening, what’s causing it, and how you want to be and get that change. Because when you think about how you want to be. And if you could imagine it, it would, I’m going to guess feel pretty comfortable, pretty good, pretty safe. And that’s what we need to show the unconscious mind to say there’s a better way. Because your unconscious mind has chosen a better way. But at this moment in time, it doesn’t know a better way. So we just did a little bit of education. Get it to learn from what it’s trying to do. Learn that it’s in conflict with itself, it’s not getting the result at once, and then get it to access those resources that you want, what you want, not what other people.

So that’s what I would do, work with therapists like myself, that does hypnosis, respect, good hypnotist, a good NLP practitioner, and a good time no therapy practitioner and other stuff. But that’s only me because that’s what I was trained as, or trained in. But put that aside.

So if it’s overwhelming, and you want it to do quick, and you get other people to help you with it, to do it with you, you don’t have to do it yourself. Therefore, it’s not I don’t call it lazy, but it’s just, it takes less effort. Return on Investment, easy solution.

The next one, and you can do this, while you’re seeking that one-to-one help is to we all say stop and pause, not take those four breaths, but it does help. Not gonna poopoo that one because that was like a mind hack. But it is stopping and breathing, square breathing will bring your heart rate down will bring you into a more comfortable state. But when you just stop and pause and go into that feeling and just acknowledge it or not accept it, we don’t accept these types of things. Because we don’t, we know there’s a better way. So we acknowledge that it’s the unconscious mind your best friend trying to protect you.

But we do also know and your unconscious mind will be listening to you and listen to this, that the conflict is, is here because he’s not working. He’s trying to protect you and you don’t feel protected. It’s not working. So simply as you stop and pause and you go inside you breathe properly. You just become comfortable. Becoming aware of where that feeling is in your body and just say either out loud or just with your inner voice. How can you protect me in a better way?

Now, you might like to give an example because you know how you want to feel so As you say that, and I thank you, my best friend, I know you’re trying to protect me. But you have to understand there’s a conflict going on Cloughie said there’s a conflict. And I agree with him because it’s not working. So you can play this over and over again. But just talk to your best friend and just say, this is how I’d like it to be. Maybe you could remember times in the past where you’ve dealt with these types of things before in a good way. And notice, when you remember it, you can go back to that time, see what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel those feelings. And say, to your unconscious mind, this is about another way, this is one better way, if I had this, it would be so much better. But this is only one way of a myriad of wonderful, rich ways.

Here’s another way, and you could go back to a different memory, keep them specific memories. We don’t generalize, we want specific memories when you felt good, where you dealt with issues, maybe you could deal with one this way?

This is the way I’d like to feel. Remember a time when you are comfortable, where you were curious away, you are confident, not overcome. I say that, again, not overconfident, that’s dangerous, but a time when you were confident and you got a good result. So you start to just remember these different things, always go back to those times because they’re good times. So it’s nice and safe to do. So go back to those good times. Go back into your body, see what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel that feeling. Just keep on doing it.

Now what you can do is also think well, how would I like to feel how to really like to feel, because things change, I can have a little bit of everything. So if I’m thinking of this specific thing maybe is a fear of missing out or maybe it’s an imposter syndrome, maybe it’s I’ve got to start talking to people, how to like to act and react and be and imagine yourself and we’ve got other episodes of how to do this.

But just very quickly, just close your eyes. Imagine another you out there doing it on a screen, maybe a movie screen, or just see another you out there, meeting those people doing that stuff that you want to be able to do. And when they’re doing when that you out there is doing exactly what you want to do. Doing it, just the way you want to do it. And it looks so good. That it even gives you a good feeling now, then imagine going into them, see what they’re seeing through their eyes, hear what they’re hearing and feel that feeling and say to your unconscious mind. Look, this is another way. And I know you my unconscious mind can find even better ways, saying those wonderful words, I love to say ‘this or something better’. And just keep doing a takes a few moments each time.

So don’t overkill it as because we’re then we’re, we’re pushing too hard. But just every few minutes, you can think of another time and another time.

And just ask your unconscious mind. This or something better How can you keep the intention for protection, keep me safe, and find one of these better ways or create better ways for me.

Then if you wanted to, you could either flick through some past episodes to see if there are some things you’d like. And there are some great ones. But what you can do is go to the hypnosis tracks and I have you know where they are. They’re on paulcloughonline.com/podcast sign-up. They’re all there. There are over 50 I was looking at it the other day, and I’m going to do a podcast to let you know all the ones there. But as you flick down, you’re going to say, Ah, that’s what I need. That would help me imagine what I want. That would be another one to imagine how I want to feel to talk to my unconscious mind to feel comfortable.

Because going back to my very first podcast, and it’s the most popular. It’s actually the second podcast episode because the first one was just an introduction, but #2 tells you all about being comfortable. And now I’m going to do it again. Because I just want to do that because I keep reminding people I like to like to do it again. But also, there’s hypnosis track users scroll all the way down to the bottom of all those tracks, hashtag 2.1 feeling comfortable. Little things like that, because it’ll give your unconscious mind a way to look to feel differently and keep you protected and getting you to feel good. And when it does that, guess what happens just like when you’re working with a one-to-one therapist, whatever the changes you make generalize into different areas of your life. So yes, I was a little bit nervous or had anxiety about this part of my, my career or my work or what I’m doing. But all of a sudden that’s changed. But also my relationships have changed. The way I feel about myself has changed when I do my socializing that’s changed my friends notice a difference because I’m more confident with them too.

So one change over here makes changes over there, there, and then there because that’s what happens with this stuff. So in some ways, if you get a little bit of lockdown or post lockdown anxiety It’s a good thing because it’s now a chance to do a bit of spring cleaning, to get rid of the overwhelm, and actually start to think of how you want to feel not why you want to do.

These are not goals. Not goal setting this is how do you want to feel. Because when you feel and the way you want to feel, it’s not just as confident.  Because confidence is made up of a lot of different things for depending on the context, could have curiosity, could have excitement, could have calmness, it could have an awareness, and you put them all together like a menu, Yeah, menu, and you pick the ones to make a recipe and then you bake it inside yourself and go, boom, this is how it is, there’s a good chance to spring plain.

And it’s a good time to say to your unconscious mind. Thanks so much for doing your best. But here’s a better way. And now you can make it even better a better way because I know you’re better at it than me. I hope in that. In the short, it is a short, longer podcast, I’ll give you some ideas, some ideas to deal with post lockdown, COVID, anxiety, the working from home thinking about coming to work, maybe not going to work all those things. What are you going to do? Now, as we finish here? What I want to say is, and I always say it, but I really mean it. If you have any thoughts about this? Or if there are some areas that I don’t think you could cope with yourself and you need a little bit of guidance. Email me feedback at personal development, unplugged calm. And I’ll do a separate podcast for you, just on that specific one.

Because if you need it, I guarantee you so many others will want it too. It just needs you to take the courage to send me an email. And that’s really scary, daunting, isn’t it? No, because I’ll just send an email back to you too. We’re gonna have a conversation, and we’ll get things going. Okay, so that’s what it’s all about. Please share this, please share this episode because it’s so important, I think. Because we had anxiety going in where the anxiety while we’re in lockdown, you know, those probably MadWorld episodes I did.

But now this is the time where we want to get better than we were when we went in. Let’s really crack it. So we really enjoy life again, more than we could ever imagine. Okay, so please do email me. repeat it again, personal development not it’s feedback at personal development, unplugged calm. Hypnosis tracks are at paulcloughonline.com/podcast. If you want to know about the confidence program, just go to paulcloughonline.com, the front page, there it is. And you get a massive discount. PDU40 gives you 40%. If you sign up for the hypnosis tracks, you get more. That’s up to you. And come and join us. Come and join us and join me in changing the world and changing yourself Be the change you want to see in others. Great meme. Anyway, to all of that, share everything. And I’ll see you again. I’ll speak to you again. We’ll have a muse and a conversation again, real soon. Bye Bye now.

Stopping the drinking habit in lockdown

Stopping the drinking habit in lockdown

If you, like so many of us, have found that overindulgence of alcohol, or anything else for that matter it’s important to know there is still help at hand.


Here of course! and If like many, you question does hypnosis work online?

here’s a recent text I received following only ONE online session

Hello Paul, fab to hear from you. This week has gone really well thank you. Had one beer all week and that was with my curry (it’s the law you have to have a beer with a curry 🤣) thank you so much for your help.

Remember it’s not just alcohol that we turn to in these ‘lockdown’ times we can excess in anything and if not checked is not going to get better when we return to whatever normal will be.

Consultations are complimentary here at Bournemouth Hypnotherapy Clinic so don’t put off finding out how I can help you. Simply fill in the contact page information and I’ll call you or email you whichever you prefer.


Loneliness – The Hidden Pandemic


The Hidden Pandemic

For some reason, that I begin to share here, I have shied away from this hugely important subject of Loneliness. I have given myself reasons why I shouldn’t go here and yet I really know they are just excuses. I wonder if you have done the same?

So instead of just writing about this subject that I feel was here and growing before coronavirus and now is affecting so many more I wanted to make it a subject fo my podcast – The Personal Development Unplugged podcast.

And when I began I didn’t know how long the episode would be and as got into it time seemed to melt. So much so that it became a two-part project with probably more to come as listeners shared with me their thoughts and experiences with me.

If this is an issue affecting you please listen and if you feel the need for direct help simply get in touch via the contact page here at Bournemouth Hypnotherapy Clinic and I’ll call you.

In the meantime here are the links to the podcast. If you click on them they should take you there or if you are familiar with podcasts better still subscribe from your usual app:

#217 I’m Alone and it hurts Pt1

#218 I’m Alone and It Hurts Pt 2

Don’t leave it to deal with it later :O)


Bournemouth Hypnotherapy and You – Don’t Accept 2nd Best

It’s very easy to put off dealing with things that bother you isn’t it?

The thing is putting off the emotional stuff that seems to always be in your mind doesn’t go away with time. I think if you look back, you will notice those negative feelings have been getting stronger, not weaker over time.

You don’t deserve to treat your self as second best and contrary to those stories that it takes a long time to change because it’s been around since you can remember, I have one thing to say – IT DOESN’T!

You, I believe, deserve the best and to be and feel the best so if you are interested in letting go of those feelings that negatively affect your life, give me a call or send an email via the contact page or request a callback. It’s as easy as that.

If your not interested in making the best of your life I really thank you for your time and know that I’ll be here for you if you need my help.

Here’s a recent podcast of mine addressing this common subject. Yes, it’s more common than you think.


Bournemouth Hypnotherapy Clinic

01202 428309

Hypnotherapy – Working remotely and reduced session costs

Working remotely and reduced session costs

This a copy of our sister clinic’s (now run by my son Luke) recent post and is also our stance here at Bournemouth Hypnotherapy Clinic

Whilst the Coronavirus is continuing to cause disruption to our everyday lives, it is important to keep on top of our mental health and not let ourselves spiral downwards. If you had an issue with alcohol or wanted to lose weight for example then now is the perfect time to make sure your problems don’t escalate. Whilst staying at home all day, it means it is much easier to have that drink earlier than you would or reach for the snack cupboard as you are bored.

Here at Cambridge Hypnotherapy we have adjusted our working ways so that we are still able to help you to achieve your goals and continue to grow. We are not seeing clients for face to face sessions, as it would be irresponsible for both yourselves and us. Keeping us all safe, and stopping the spread of Covid-19 has to be everyones priority. In order to do this we will be continuing to perform sessions, however they will be done remotely from the comfort and security of your own home via Zoom. This allows us the best possible chance of helping you make your changes whilst remaining safe.

We are also aware that many people are on a reduced income if there are staying at home, or unable to work and note that 80% of a wage seems to be the average for most people. We feel it is only fair to do the same for you, and will reduce all of our online sessions by 20% to match this. Here is a quick video I did for our facebook page which helps explain things.

U P D A T E – 8 0 %

Posted by Cambridge Hypnotherapy on Tuesday, March 24, 2020

If you would like to find out more about how we can help you right now, so that you don’t have to wait until this period ends then contact us here, or call us on 01202 428309 and we’ll be more than happy to arrange an appointment for you.

Stay safe,


pod cast ~ coping and dealing with grief

Grief #2 The podcast ~ Personal Development Unplugged

So in this issue of Personal Development Unplugged I discuss simple ways to help the negative emotion of grief and go a little way to explain it’s ok not to grieve.

“Not to grieve ~ surely we have to grieve? it’s disrespectful not grieve, isn’t it?” I hear some of you thinking.

You see to my mind grieving has a purpose of not forgetting someone or something we’ve lost or they have left us. And it always seems to hurt us, that negative void we experience which really only serves to allow us to remember sadly, depressingly and is painful. The pain will ease we’re told but never disappears – and that just stinks because it’s Bulls***! It may be something others say to you trying to be kind and helpful but it’s stillbulls*** because the pain can disappear completely and it really doesn’t have to take a long time. What would it be like to grieve and feel good at the same time? Now that’s something I would like you to explore with me because you can. Read on and then listen.

What about a concept where we can remember those we’ve lost in a warm, pleasant and loving way, remembering good times as if we were back there again and seeing, hearing and feeling the way we did – wouldn’t that be awesome!!
Although this podcast is only around 20 minutes long, which isn’t nearly enough time to dig in deep I have suggested once listened to you may wish to down load a copy of my eBook “It doesn’t have to be this way”. It’s my personal story of dealing with grief that did send me in a real downward spiral at the time. There’s also some hypnosis tracks which are also free with my compliments. If you miss the link here it is www.howtocopewithgrief.com just put in your email address and you will receive the access ‘stuff’. I do not share emails EVER! and would love to hear your feedback.

You may also wish to search my blogs written at www.cambridgehypnotherapy.co.uk/blog and search for grief and you will find some other simple ways to remember in a good way.

Please keep away from the trap that we have to hurt and it takes a long time to let go of the grief you’re suffering ~ it really is easy, simple and quick which is why I chose to create Personal Development Unplugged.

Any way enough of the writing and let’s get on with the listening and then the doing, there’s no knowledge without action so inspired action please ;0)

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner.

Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough’s free or products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take.

Personal development unplugged audio~Dealing with Anxiety ~


This podcast/audio blog is intended to help you deal with things that make you anxious and aim to have you automatically feel comfortable without consciously trying.

What I talk about are things that, in my experience, work and most importantly are simple and easy to apply. These are just my opinions and thoughts that I say out loud but hopefully you’ll listen, mull them over and give them a try. When I say try, I do mean 100% effort, really go for it and if you do, I think you will learn much more than you imagine and feel so much better.

So, what is anxiety?

Well to me it’s simply a fear, a fear of what has happened in the past may happen again in the future. It’s like you unconscious mind is using a negative emotion to get you to prepare better than before. The trouble is your unconscious mind seems only to be using that negative emotion of fear to help you and, to help you more, it just keeps increasing the intensity!!!

You see, to me, if your unconscious mind was to learn from those past events and use both those learnings and other resources you use in other times when you’re successful or safe or competent you would always get the best result and keep on improving those results. It makes sense to me, how about you?

From my experience the clients I see, who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, didn’t always feel that anxious or worried. It seems to have started small and snowballed bigger and bigger over time and into more and more areas, different contexts, of their lives. Which means to me that if we can use a process that does use learnings and those previously successful states not only can we use this natural process to reverse the effect but also positively have it grow and spread to other areas of our lives in the most wonderful ways. I say his because I believe when your unconscious mind finds out that what it’s doing is not working, and what it’s doing is in conflict with its’ intention, it has to find a better way and that’s what this process I show you in the audio does.

Please listen with an open mind, be gentle with me if I fail to explain it, this, as it needs to be for you and then listen to the Hypnosis audio for another type of experience :0) If one doesn’t get the change you want I’d like to think the other will.

If you enjoy or feel this could be both interesting and useful to a friend(s) please share.

As this is only the second recording, please accept my apologies for not having the most professional and polished recording qualities etc. I’ll try to get better too.

And here’s he hypnosis track that accompanies the above.

This hypnosis track follows the second podcast and teaches your unconscious mind to replace anxiety with feeling comfortable and safe.
The counting out of this and most of my hypnosis tracks was given to me by Jonathan Chase (thank you ;0) )Disclaimer:Warning: By using Paul’s free or paid work you expressly agree that you use of this website or through other platforms is at your sole risk.

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner.

Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough’s free or products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take.